After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
