One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
