I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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