gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
