last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
