Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
