Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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