Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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