he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
my liver is dry heaving
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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