It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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