I could have mohawked her pubes.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
