were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
