yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize