how can u be prego again
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
