Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
