i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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