if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
