so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
