what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
