Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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