this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
