he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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