At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
