literally had 100 drinks last night.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
then he tried to convert me to islam
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
