We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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