Me. At least after what I've been through.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
