So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize