did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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