awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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