Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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