Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
