I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
