She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
