she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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