He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
