a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
What a dumb baby whore.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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