I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
