i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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