i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
