i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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