Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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