its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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