ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
