Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
