you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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