would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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