i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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