okay pat passed out under dana's car
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
