I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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