My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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