ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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