It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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