How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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