I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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