Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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