I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
