Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
