You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
