Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
