I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
