I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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