we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
