I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
barbara walters just said penis...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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