He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
