No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize