The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
