you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
