okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
