Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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