i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
where am i from again
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
