So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
