AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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