Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
