tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
