I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Four minutes until I can fart!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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