So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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