when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
